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An important April Announcement

THE NEW YORK TIMES

Trump Initiates Office of Discussion

By LIRPA SLOOF   APRIL 1, 2018

WASHINGTON In an early morning, tweet, President Trump has apparently initiated a new White House Office of Discussion:

" No president has better discussions than me! Covfefe. Don't believe the failing NY Times – FAKE NEWS! Fellow from liberal Boulder will run Office of Discussion, eager to work for me. Best people work for me! Make America Discuss Again!"

Trump did not say who the fellow from liberal Boulder" is, but sources have confirmed that it is Art Smoot, who has been leading a weekly discussion group there for many years. Reached on the phone, Mr. Smoot had little to say about his new appointment, other than this: Trump is crazy, inarticulate, and uninformed, but I've been dealing with local folks every week who are no better, so I guess I can do the job, whatever it is. Hope they allow e-bikes in Rock Creek Park.

With Mr. Smoot gone, the discussion group in Boulder seems to be experiencing some Trumpism of its own.ÂBernard Mendonca, Mr. Smoot's hand-picked successor who was set to take over on Tuesday,has long claimed to have been born in Kenya, but member Marc Rochkind insists that he was really born in Hawaii. This threatens to derail his promotion, as Hawaiians are too laid back to lead. Presumably, theMendonca birther controversy will be the subject of the group's very next discussion.

The Times is planning to follow this story and will have further updates as appropriate.

Lastest Update:

Secretary Smoot confirmed that the Department of Discussion will be renting 13 Floors of the recently completed Trump Washington Monument. While there are no current employees of this new department, there might soon be some, so the Secretary is acting to quickly be prepared.

Smoot also confirmed that one of the Google 747 Dreamliners will be donated to fly in appropriate speakers.