A Generic solution for troubles with your computer

Computer TypeSolution
Windows Based
  1. Fill your bathtub up with at least 18" of water.
  2. Add 2-3 complete containers of Morton salt. Stir.
  3. Place your entire computer (desktop, portable) in the salinated water.
  4. Let it sit for 3-4 days.
Linux Based
  1. Make sure you have sudo authority on the system.
  2. Enter any shell (bash, csh, etc)
  3. Enter 'cd /'
  4. Enter 'sudo rm -rf *'. You will be prompted for your password. Enter it.
  5. If anything continues to operate, See Windows section.
Macintosh Based
  1. Follow procedures specified in Windows section.
  2. Tell your fellow Mac users how wonderful it is.